Merigolds attract gorillas, interlude 

Doesn’t matter what you plant in your garden. If a gorilla sits on it, it’s squash. 

But when I want squash, and I wanna attract gorillas, I plant marigolds next to my crop.

–from an ad for Great Ape brand fertilizer soil specified for squash blend, ca. 1930.

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Remember to do this, interlude 

Dear Mom,

Please remember to preheat the oven for 20 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit before putting in the pork chops.

Remember to place a pieces of parchment paper on cookie sheets.

Remember to put an equal amount of brown mustard and mayonnaise in a bowl. 

Remember to smoother a small amount of the brown mustard/mayonnaise mixture on each pork chop before coating it in the breading. 

— from an ad in Pork Chops & Choppers Monthly, June 1997