Doesn’t matter what you plant in your garden. If a gorilla sits on it, it’s squash.
But when I want squash, and I wanna attract gorillas, I plant marigolds next to my crop.
–from an ad for Great Ape brand fertilizer soil specified for squash blend, ca. 1930.
Pathweaver34's Weblog 
I love humor in your writing.
You have so much imagination. Give some in another writing, son.