77, interlude

..Seventy-seven cats sat on a row of seventy-seven fences, which were in the yards of seventy-seven houses, a mile away from interstate route seventy-seven, where seventy-seven cars all travel in an unexplainable road rage to get to seventy-seven different locations, seven of whom own homes whose property has a fence on which sits one of seventy-seven cats.

–from “Big Number Nursery Rhymes!” the musical, produced and directed by F. R. Ed Turning-Young.

Mr. Turning-Young, in an ironic twist, happens to turn 77 today.

Pristine and Ugly, interlude

..To adhere to the standards and follow the rules, such as use heavily floured parchment paper, will guarantee good results.

However, there are still those who think plastic wrap is the answer to bread dough that insists on being a complete and total jerk, which may be correct..

Until the difficulty with he dough causes a small piece of plastic to tear, then the plastic piece disappears, making the baker anxious about whether or not the ugly loaf is safe to eat, having searched and not found the missing piece of plastic wrap…

–confessions from a tired bread baker, March 29, 1988.

Friday aftermath, interlude

…Friday the 13th is nothing to fear. Nothing bad happens on this particular day that could happen on any other day.

…However, Friday the 13th is undoubtedly a harbinger of terrible things to come. It is not the day itself one must be concerned about. Rather it’s the weekend of Friday the 13th, plus a couple days after, where lies the real danger.

–from Author G. T. Quilting-Wheeler, in an interview Friday, June 13, 2008.

The author’s synopsis was mocked and ignored until an unexplained, accidental death occurred two days later which claimed the life of an 18-year-old young man.

Loud Motorbikes, interlude

According to research on reddit, loud crotch rockets are a product of either modifying post purchase or removing the muffler, either a selfish ego motive or a self preservation, “loud motors save lives” philosophy, right up there with “bright LED headlights at all times save lives.”

Therefore, since I gotta deal with the issue of loud motorists at home at ungodly hours, I’ve come up with this:

“Loud motors save lives!”

“What?”

Or the ego reason:

“Hey look at me. Hey! You’re not looking.”

–from a tired old guy who was woken up in the middle of the night by a loud motorist at a traffic stop near his house. Recorded on June 18, 2017.

Up late, interlude

Live from Chattanooga, TN, it’s “Up Late with Tiger-do!” Featuring everyone’s favorite spoiled, obnoxious house cat who thinks he’s a night owl, Tiger-do-kitty!

–the writer for the show was fired a day later, as it turns out Tiger-do peed on his shoes an hour before the show went on air.

Air date June 6, 2009, Orange Kirkland Studio Productions Inc.

Crude Noisemaker, interlude

It’s our noisiest little motorcycle engine ever. Guaranteed to annoy the neighbors who, of all things, shouldn’t be sleeping at 1:53a.m.

–from an ad for One_A_M Alarm Cycles in “Insomnia & Motorcycle Weekly, April 2018 issue.

Two-Toned, interlude

..Culinary fighters from all over the world, here for the prize above all others. A single recipe that could change the world, it’s fate in the hands of a single chef.

..Carbohydrates, when heated turn to gold, it’s a fight just for the bold. Every body get ready, it’s time to win the perfect bread. Before it’s over, I’ll be the champ when you’re defeated.

All ingredients assembled, utensils clean and calibrated…

“T-t-time to get kneaded.”

..For the pursuit of the swirl, for the pursuit of the swirl…

Competition is the answer when talk is cheap and there’s too many chefs—in the kitchen.

For the pursuit of the swirl…pursuit of the swirl.

–from Super Awesome Bread: Battle for a Better Slice! the Musical. Written and directed by Arugula Jersey-Taft, 1989, New York, NY.

Lyrics from the introduction song, “Pursuit of the Swirl,” lyrics written by J. B. Dandelion-Bradford.

The theatre production was a huge success, until producer Arugula Jackson-Taft heard about it and promptly sued for production rights, in 1990, claiming she came up with something similar a year earlier.