..you may have seen something like this..
..But that isn’t what’s being served for church after service tomorrow, provided I can get up early enough.
..I’m having to get up early to prepare frosting that otherwise would’ve evaporated by afternoon, so it has to be made the day of..
—from “6 A.M. is Too Early to Move,” a screenplay about people who choose only to eat tropical fruit. Ca May, 1998.
..To adhere to the standards and follow the rules, such as use heavily floured parchment paper, will guarantee good results.
However, there are still those who think plastic wrap is the answer to bread dough that insists on being a complete and total jerk, which may be correct..
Until the difficulty with he dough causes a small piece of plastic to tear, then the plastic piece disappears, making the baker anxious about whether or not the ugly loaf is safe to eat, having searched and not found the missing piece of plastic wrap…
–confessions from a tired bread baker, March 29, 1988.
..Culinary fighters from all over the world, here for the prize above all others. A single recipe that could change the world, it’s fate in the hands of a single chef.
..Carbohydrates, when heated turn to gold, it’s a fight just for the bold. Every body get ready, it’s time to win the perfect bread. Before it’s over, I’ll be the champ when you’re defeated.
All ingredients assembled, utensils clean and calibrated…
“T-t-time to get kneaded.”
..For the pursuit of the swirl, for the pursuit of the swirl…
Competition is the answer when talk is cheap and there’s too many chefs—in the kitchen.
For the pursuit of the swirl…pursuit of the swirl.
–from Super Awesome Bread: Battle for a Better Slice! the Musical. Written and directed by Arugula Jersey-Taft, 1989, New York, NY.
Lyrics from the introduction song, “Pursuit of the Swirl,” lyrics written by J. B. Dandelion-Bradford.
The theatre production was a huge success, until producer Arugula Jackson-Taft heard about it and promptly sued for production rights, in 1990, claiming she came up with something similar a year earlier.
…Hey, man, just wanted you to know… that we’re, uh, you know, having a meeting tonight at the church at 6:30. It’s gonna, gonna, be a spiffy little time, bub-bub-bubu…you know?
–radio advertisement featuring famous 1950s singer/ songwriter Bob “the Bebop” Taft-Elliot, ca 1980, Onomatopoeia Morning Studios, Inc.
…Hot Cross carbohydrates are we, made with flour and living yeast. Go on and try us, we’re sweeter than most.
…Hot bread made from sweet roll dough. We’re just two of a kind, I’ve got the brains, he’s got the brawn…
— from Hot Cross Bread Forever!the Musical, songs written and composed by Arugula Jackson-Pierce, New York, NY, 1988.
Show you can make yeast bread, made with cheddar cheese, and I’ll believe you.
–from a local skeptic. March, 1984.
…You did a great job. I mean, would you look at that. It’s beautiful. …But it isn’t the outward appearance I’m talking about. For the sake of this instance, beauty really is on the inside….
–Recorded speech from crime boss Bill “The Confection” Tetrazzini, in response to success in hiding colored coconut candy filling inside chocolate candy coating. Ca
…We take desiccated coconut, dry fondant, coconut flavoring, some water, and mix it all together.
…Now get this: we then divide the coconut-fondant mixture into three separate bowels and take food coloring and color each a different color.
…Then we hide the colored coconut filling inside chocolate candy coating in these here fish molds.
…It’s a solid plan. They’ll never know what color the coconut is without taking a bite.
–from a secret recording of known con artist chefs, who make their living by making their victims guess the color of coconut inside candy fish. Ca 2008.
..We should all make it a tradition to fix homemade, buttermilk pancakes on Presidents Day.
–from Independent candidate for for Colorado Senate Seat Fred Clementine-Russetonne.