Cheese, interlude

Don’t know about you, but I’m pulling up stakes and going home.

–from the tiny species of hobo which love bread so much they make their homes in fresh-baked loaves of bread.

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Veggie Horror Films, interlude

They call him Skin-Face. He watched his whole family peel and eat their neighbors and now wears their remains. You will know him when you see him.

He goes around with a massive vegetable peeler, seeking all young spuds with rotten intentions. Only one with a good heart can oppose him. Can you spend one night alive in the Peeler House?

From “Night Fright-Veggie Nightmare,” directed by Vance Peeler-Frufflefluff, who also directed “Xastiron of the Skillet Massacre, in 3D.”

Not interested in humans, interlude

That’s just a roaming spider. There’s nothing to be afraid of. He’s looking for something to eat and you’re not small enough.

-from “Let out Charlie,” sci-fi live theatre show about a detective who solves crimes by studying spiders, especially a specific species of spider that scavenges off dead bodies.

City Life. Interlude

A life full of danger, full of monsters, where you don’t know if you’re gonna make it home; and when you do, you thank your lucky stars, or the newest hero who just happened to find you in trouble, that you survived another day; that’s life in the city.

From an advertisement in “Fortune Spoonerism Magazine,” August 1985 issue.

Pumpkin Cheesecake, interlude

Pumpkin Pie got angry

and turned into a monstrosity

twice its normal size

and put on armor

made from brown sugar,

butter and walnuts.