Sunburst Coffee Cake, interlude

We take a coffee cake recipe from 1974 and, using today’s cooking methods, make it for people in 2018.

The majority of the people who eat the coffee cake won’t know it’s from 1974. I’m betting those who were around back then won’t know either.

It’s a beautiful plan, friend. Time won’t know it’s getting stolen, a wonderful paradox.

–from a secret phone conversation between known time thieves, looking to steal paradoxical fragments from the year 1974.

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Pancakes, interlude

..We should all make it a tradition to fix homemade, buttermilk pancakes on Presidents Day.

–from Independent candidate for for Colorado Senate Seat Fred Clementine-Russetonne.

Layered Turtle, interlude

… I’m a turtle layer. Watch out, turtle. I’m gonna layer you out!

–from “The Turtle Slayer with a Speech Impediment, and Other Stories,” by Walter deGewm-Cook. August Snowstorm Publishers, ca. June 1988.

Topping for German Chocolate Cheesecake, interlude

This moment brought you by the Ad Council for Encouragement of German Chocolate Cheesecake Production Advocacy Group, enticing the American public to make and share German chocolate cheesecake on a more frequent basis since 1909.

–from the digital archives of filmmaker Randolf Blitz-Toaster-Howard, Inc., ca 2005.

From the oven, interlude

Hot from the oven

Don’t’ you touch

wait ten minutes

A knife runs around the rim

then wait an hour more

O cream cheese, where’d you go? German chocolate cheesecake, take it slow.

Overnight success

gives quite a chill

Cool German chocolate topping and add a thrill.

O cream cheese, where’d you go? German chocolate cheesecake, take it slow.

–from a radio advertisement advocating that listeners should make more German chocolate cheesecake. Ca 1935, Saint Gertrude Spaghetti Media Company

Oblivion with icecream, interlude

We looked outside the window. It was hazy amidst a white sky, bound to rain. But the weather wasn’t what drew our attention to the sky. 

It was the end of the world. Our end was at hand and we couldn’t be more excited about it. Death by chocolate and icecream was upon us.

–from Chocolate Culinary Apocalypse, audiobook by Tony Fuzzheldt, available on compact disc and mp3, published by Doomerboomer Books, May, 2005.