…You did a great job. I mean, would you look at that. It’s beautiful. …But it isn’t the outward appearance I’m talking about. For the sake of this instance, beauty really is on the inside….
–Recorded speech from crime boss Bill “The Confection” Tetrazzini, in response to success in hiding colored coconut candy filling inside chocolate candy coating. Ca
…We take desiccated coconut, dry fondant, coconut flavoring, some water, and mix it all together.
…Now get this: we then divide the coconut-fondant mixture into three separate bowels and take food coloring and color each a different color.
…Then we hide the colored coconut filling inside chocolate candy coating in these here fish molds.
…It’s a solid plan. They’ll never know what color the coconut is without taking a bite.
–from a secret recording of known con artist chefs, who make their living by making their victims guess the color of coconut inside candy fish. Ca 2008.
Caaraamels, Caaaaraaameels. Carrrrameeels!
from a scene in the new horror film, “54 Caramels” debue film director and culinary chef Waltz Fry-Marshmallow, ca January, 1998.
Today the emissaries of Heavy Cream and Spice gathered in response to an agreement that will make a peaceful resolution.
“We have agreed to use our unique talents to give the world a gift which will help put our nations at the frontier of history.
–from 15th century records of early development of caramel. Ca Candy Parliament Library Intl.
In plastic cavities we place hot melted chocolate candy coating. Then we freeze it to harden. Then we place the caramel and cover that with more chocolate. Then we freeze that. You gotta see the finished product. It’s beautiful and nobody will question what we did with the caramel.
– from a secret tape recording between known caramel thieves, estimated date October 6, 1986
Hi there. We’d like to sing you a song. Ready boys? One. Two. Three. JINGLE BE—
— From “Singing Candies, the Christmas edition” available on compact disc, from 2005.