Pursuit of Pumpkin pie, interlude

..The life of pumpkin pie, provided it’s good pumpkin pie, is short-lived. ..Sometimes, it doesn’t last any longer than it took to make it.

–from world renown old time chef Mortimer “Mustache” Jacksonville, from his cookbook, “Seasonal Favorites from 1967: For All Who Love Pumpkin & Nothing Else.

Ca. 1988, Seashore & Starfish Assistance Publishers, Inc.

Advertisements

Breakfast sandwich, interlude

We combine a spicy cheese omelet with three slices of bacon and put it on whole wheat toast.

Then we serve it with coffee. It’s the ultimate master plan, folks. Our ticket to ruling the world: breakfast mastery.

They’ll never know what hit them til it’s too late. Because then they’ll want more.

–from three lost tape recordings of infamous pyramid scam artists, who decided last minute to open a fast food chain. Ca June, 1968.

Topping for German Chocolate Cheesecake, interlude

This moment brought you by the Ad Council for Encouragement of German Chocolate Cheesecake Production Advocacy Group, enticing the American public to make and share German chocolate cheesecake on a more frequent basis since 1909.

–from the digital archives of filmmaker Randolf Blitz-Toaster-Howard, Inc., ca 2005.

From the oven, interlude

Hot from the oven

Don’t’ you touch

wait ten minutes

A knife runs around the rim

then wait an hour more

O cream cheese, where’d you go? German chocolate cheesecake, take it slow.

Overnight success

gives quite a chill

Cool German chocolate topping and add a thrill.

O cream cheese, where’d you go? German chocolate cheesecake, take it slow.

–from a radio advertisement advocating that listeners should make more German chocolate cheesecake. Ca 1935, Saint Gertrude Spaghetti Media Company

Jack ‘o lanterns, interlude

Good evening. Our car broke down a few yards back. May we come in to use your phone?

–from “Count the Pumpkin Skins,” the 1980s horror film about a vampire who gets turned into a living jackolantern, who then preys on unsuspecting teenagers.

Creeper Corner Films. Air date: October 1981

Luxurious, interlude 

It will be the sound you hear when you take your first bite. The small voice inside will tell you everything with the finish. The key word inside each spectacular artisan cookie: Luxury. 

From an ad in “Culinary Robberbaron’s magazine” for “Golden Luxury Cookies” said to contain a real nugget of 24 carot gold in each cookie.

 The ad went out of print in 1978 after a lawsuit was settled out of court when a consumer suffered injury due to eating the gold nugget.

Piping Hot, Interlude

wpid-20151114_094230.jpg

It is said that if you eat an omelet on toast while it is steaming hot, over the weekend of Friday the 13th, wonderful things will happen. Things that may make up for the potential travesty of what happened on Friday. And if the bread used with the sandwich is panfried white bread, lightly toasted in a small amount of butter, in a cast iron skillet, then the memory of the sandwich will stay with you all day.

What isn’t said, but instead is kept a great secret, is the steam that rises from the omelet develops its own personality. When these personalities become real, they form a physical body in the form of a lingering scent.

Excerpt from Encyclopédie culinaire de l’étrange et inexpliquée [Culinary Encyclopedia of the Strange and Unexplained], translated from French to English, under definition “arôme obsédant” or “Haunting Aroma”