This moment brought you by the Ad Council for Encouragement of German Chocolate Cheesecake Production Advocacy Group, enticing the American public to make and share German chocolate cheesecake on a more frequent basis since 1909.
–from the digital archives of filmmaker Randolf Blitz-Toaster-Howard, Inc., ca 2005.
Good evening. Our car broke down a few yards back. May we come in to use your phone?
–from “Count the Pumpkin Skins,” the 1980s horror film about a vampire who gets turned into a living jackolantern, who then preys on unsuspecting teenagers.
Creeper Corner Films. Air date: October 1981
We looked outside the window. It was hazy amidst a white sky, bound to rain. But the weather wasn’t what drew our attention to the sky.
It was the end of the world. Our end was at hand and we couldn’t be more excited about it. Death by chocolate and icecream was upon us.
–from Chocolate Culinary Apocalypse, audiobook by Tony Fuzzheldt, available on compact disc and mp3, published by Doomerboomer Books, May, 2005.
The latest addition to our family of products doesn’t need an introduction. They can speak for themselves. But we’re not going to allow them to speak. It would be bittersweet. To say the least.
–from an ad in Culinary Anger Magazine, June 1987, for Luxerious cookies, now in bittersweet chocolate chip.