Luxury, interlude 

It’s the feeling you get when you traverse through a field of golden wheat ready for harvest.

 It’s the sound you make when given the opportunity to bathe in hot fudge frosting. 

It’s the taste on your tongue after biting into a fresh-from-the-oven oatmeal cookie. 

It’s the scent of that same cookie you bit into moments before, five minutes before it was removed from the oven. 

It’s the look on your rival classmate’s face at lunch, when he realizes his sad, stale, ordinary oatmeal cookies don’t measure up to what’s in what your lunchbox—————–Luxury.

—-from an ad in Microculinary, Bourbon & Shoeleather Magazine, Fall Issue, Sept 1988

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It’s frozen custard, Interlude! 

It stormed last night. Very peculiar. It rained frozen custard. It’s made a mess of my driveway, I keep hearing bad news about how it effected traffic on the interstate. Yet my neighbor’s kids keep Hollaring about it.

 “I ate so much ice cream it hurts,” they say. 

It isn’t icecream. It’s frozen custard.

—from Grumpy Chef Pablo, famous dessert culinary artist. Television interview, CNN, May 14, 1983.

Luxurious, interlude 

It will be the sound you hear when you take your first bite. The small voice inside will tell you everything with the finish. The key word inside each spectacular artisan cookie: Luxury. 

From an ad in “Culinary Robberbaron’s magazine” for “Golden Luxury Cookies” said to contain a real nugget of 24 carot gold in each cookie.

 The ad went out of print in 1978 after a lawsuit was settled out of court when a consumer suffered injury due to eating the gold nugget.

It’s the Great Pumpkin Cheesecake, Interlude!

I can’t eat that. it looks horrible,” said Mr. Ford.

“Let her compose herself,” said the cook, “You come back tomorrow. She’ll be ready by then.”

-from “101 Ways to Die via the Culinary Arts” on cassette tape from October 1991.