We combine a spicy cheese omelet with three slices of bacon and put it on whole wheat toast.
Then we serve it with coffee. It’s the ultimate master plan, folks. Our ticket to ruling the world: breakfast mastery.
They’ll never know what hit them til it’s too late. Because then they’ll want more.
–from three lost tape recordings of infamous pyramid scam artists, who decided last minute to open a fast food chain. Ca June, 1968.
Jala-jala-jala-peño and shredded cheese, you mean the world to me chosen o’er other sides, Cause hot and spicy’s the way to be on a roll.
Hot-hot-hot and spicy together at last, inside an omelet made so fast, Cause hot and spicy’s the way to be on a roll.
Me-me-melted butter, merry-go-round, sizzlin’ in a skillet, hear the omelet singing, our destiny is on a pan-seared bun
Jala-jala-jala-peño and shredded cheese, you mean the world to me chosen o’er the other sides, cause hot and spicy’s the way to be on a roll.
-lyrics from 1970s R&B sensation Pan-Seared’s hit single “Jalapeño and Cheese Omelet on a Roll”
It is said that if you eat an omelet on toast while it is steaming hot, over the weekend of Friday the 13th, wonderful things will happen. Things that may make up for the potential travesty of what happened on Friday. And if the bread used with the sandwich is panfried white bread, lightly toasted in a small amount of butter, in a cast iron skillet, then the memory of the sandwich will stay with you all day.
What isn’t said, but instead is kept a great secret, is the steam that rises from the omelet develops its own personality. When these personalities become real, they form a physical body in the form of a lingering scent.
Excerpt from Encyclopédie culinaire de l’étrange et inexpliquée [Culinary Encyclopedia of the Strange and Unexplained], translated from French to English, under definition “arôme obsédant” or “Haunting Aroma”