Doom, interlude

Made from aluminum foil and green sticky notes. Three sticky notes to be exact. Exactness would be needed and possibly demanded, if Marvel’s Victor Von Doom had any idea his likeness was constructed as a simple miniature.

–from Don Fritz “The Sticky Note” Thomas-Wheatgrass, illustrator and origami enthusiast, from an online interview, August 2015.

Pumpkin Cheesecake, interlude

Pumpkin Pie got angry

and turned into a monstrosity

twice its normal size

and put on armor

made from brown sugar,

butter and walnuts.

What influences my health, interlude

What affects my health?

The Food City in Brainerd closed down because some bigwig in Illinois wanted too much for rent.

There is no promise another grocery will replace it, and other stores surrounding it are jeopardized by the sudden loss of business.

The Food City on Ringgold road is smaller than the Brainerd store and the head manager is neither as nice nor willing to order items not in stock like the people in Brainerd.

Plus, they recently stopped carrying Wondra Flour. When asked, the manager even doubted they ever carried it, when I bought it last week.

I’ve been relying on specific name brands for my baking and then suddenly the stores closest to me shut down or stop carrying what I need to be productive, while modern day Robber Barons far away get away with a scandal that affects the common people like me.

–quote from a local customer at a local grocery store, targeted to participate in a survey of 200 people concerning what affects their health within the last month. Recorded Wednesday June 24, 1989.

Sunburst Coffee Cake, interlude

We take a coffee cake recipe from 1974 and, using today’s cooking methods, make it for people in 2018.

The majority of the people who eat the coffee cake won’t know it’s from 1974. I’m betting those who were around back then won’t know either.

It’s a beautiful plan, friend. Time won’t know it’s getting stolen, a wonderful paradox.

–from a secret phone conversation between known time thieves, looking to steal paradoxical fragments from the year 1974.

Hot pepper relish, interlude

I’ve been crying about this pepper relish for the last hour. How it burns! I also used too much white wine vinegar.

–from Charlie Potato-Butter, who found a way to use the hot peppers from his mother’s garden.

The recipe is here:

https://www.chilipeppermadness.com/chili-pepper-recipes/sauces/hot-pepper-relish/

Scam, interlude

..Ring ring..

A clear, young female voice picks up.

“Oh hi there,” she says, “This is Rachel with Resort Rewards. Are you still on the phone?”

The number was from a yellow card saying a delivery is expected but they needed my number to send it. The card said it was first class mail, even had a real stamp and a tracking number. It looked pretty realistic, but I wasn’t expecting a package.

“I’m calling in response to you sending me a card,” I said.

“Of course,” says Rachel, “Hold on while I transfer you.”

A moment later a male voice with a foreign accent picks up.

“Hello, sir, how are you?” He said, “I can schedule a delivery for you, but first I need your social security number.”

— from “This Scam is Important” by Richard “Watermelon” Gnayarp. Ca May, 1990, Gnitiam Publishers Inc.