IPA, interlude

It’s our most sour brew ever. With generous hints of grape fruit, pine, hops, more grape fruit, and a finish that tastes like aftershave smells, leaving you more rugged, more manlier, at the finish than before you started.

–from an advertisement for Mora-Leminskulle Beer Company, boasting their IPA to be the “bitterest end beer of them all.” Ca July, 1999.

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Topping for German Chocolate Cheesecake, interlude

This moment brought you by the Ad Council for Encouragement of German Chocolate Cheesecake Production Advocacy Group, enticing the American public to make and share German chocolate cheesecake on a more frequent basis since 1909.

–from the digital archives of filmmaker Randolf Blitz-Toaster-Howard, Inc., ca 2005.

From the oven, interlude

Hot from the oven

Don’t’ you touch

wait ten minutes

A knife runs around the rim

then wait an hour more

O cream cheese, where’d you go? German chocolate cheesecake, take it slow.

Overnight success

gives quite a chill

Cool German chocolate topping and add a thrill.

O cream cheese, where’d you go? German chocolate cheesecake, take it slow.

–from a radio advertisement advocating that listeners should make more German chocolate cheesecake. Ca 1935, Saint Gertrude Spaghetti Media Company

German Chocolate Cheesecake, interlude

Walnuts, coconut, brown sugar, heavy cream and butter; by themselves they are potentially deadly. But when combined in a pan over medium heat, they make any ordinary chocolate cheesecake into something amazing!

Let’s go to the phone lines, yes hello, you’re on the air.

“My mouth waters at the thought of traditional German chocolate cake; but my mind was blown when I was served a cheesecake of the same name.”

–from a 1985 public service announcement, courtesy of Anywhere USA, encouraging people to eat more German chocolate cheesecake.

Jack ‘o lanterns, interlude

Good evening. Our car broke down a few yards back. May we come in to use your phone?

–from “Count the Pumpkin Skins,” the 1980s horror film about a vampire who gets turned into a living jackolantern, who then preys on unsuspecting teenagers.

Creeper Corner Films. Air date: October 1981

The latest trend, interlude

The latest trend in fashion is cat styling. Colleges are now offering classes to upscale boutiques to train house cats how to style hair of human clients, especially the rich and famous.

“I admit, this isn’t for everyone, just those who want to look hip,” says fashion guru Jared Stanleyman, who also says that the idea came to him in a dream.

But how long will it last before barbers are put out of business in exchange for the cuddly felines?

–from an article in Plastic Cutlery Jacket Magazine, or PCJM,
June Issue 2011