Youth and anger, interlude

There were times in my youth when boys and sometimes grown men, who were older, taller and bigger and stronger than me, would wag their tongues in such a way that I’d get offended.

Because I was just a young buck, and didn’t know better, I’d wait til the character was walking away and then come out of hiding and say something that I immediately regretted. I’d say it because I was angry, not because I thought it through.

Well more than half the time, the hooligans who said such to anger me would hear what I said, turn around and address me. They’d say something intimidating like, “What you say?”

Not planning for their retaliation, I’d be taken aback and would clam up or cower. But on some occasions I’d still be bristling. The fighting, however, was always the same, always a loss.

Part of growing up is to develop that emotional shell. So that when someone says something offensive, but otherwise harmless, it bounces right off.

The other part of growing up is to deal with the wounds from the words and actions that found their way past that tough exterior.

Forgiveness goes a long way. It’s the modern way to “turn the other cheek” when someone slaps you.

–from a 1998 interview with famed actor Gilford “Whiskers” Allsworth-Dinnersmith, who most recently has made an autobiographical work.

In it Mr. Allsworth-Dinnersmith talks about his childhood, his early career as a stuntman, and how he got discovered to become the famous playwright he is today.

Veggie Horror Films, interlude

They call him Skin-Face. He watched his whole family peel and eat their neighbors and now wears their remains. You will know him when you see him.

He goes around with a massive vegetable peeler, seeking all young spuds with rotten intentions. Only one with a good heart can oppose him. Can you spend one night alive in the Peeler House?

From “Night Fright-Veggie Nightmare,” directed by Vance Peeler-Frufflefluff, who also directed “Xastiron of the Skillet Massacre, in 3D.”

Not interested in humans, interlude

That’s just a roaming spider. There’s nothing to be afraid of. He’s looking for something to eat and you’re not small enough.

-from “Let out Charlie,” sci-fi live theatre show about a detective who solves crimes by studying spiders, especially a specific species of spider that scavenges off dead bodies.

Scam, interlude

..Ring ring..

A clear, young female voice picks up.

“Oh hi there,” she says, “This is Rachel with Resort Rewards. Are you still on the phone?”

The number was from a yellow card saying a delivery is expected but they needed my number to send it. The card said it was first class mail, even had a real stamp and a tracking number. It looked pretty realistic, but I wasn’t expecting a package.

“I’m calling in response to you sending me a card,” I said.

“Of course,” says Rachel, “Hold on while I transfer you.”

A moment later a male voice with a foreign accent picks up.

“Hello, sir, how are you?” He said, “I can schedule a delivery for you, but first I need your social security number.”

— from “This Scam is Important” by Richard “Watermelon” Gnayarp. Ca May, 1990, Gnitiam Publishers Inc.

Friday aftermath, interlude

…Friday the 13th is nothing to fear. Nothing bad happens on this particular day that could happen on any other day.

…However, Friday the 13th is undoubtedly a harbinger of terrible things to come. It is not the day itself one must be concerned about. Rather it’s the weekend of Friday the 13th, plus a couple days after, where lies the real danger.

–from Author G. T. Quilting-Wheeler, in an interview Friday, June 13, 2008.

The author’s synopsis was mocked and ignored until an unexplained, accidental death occurred two days later which claimed the life of an 18-year-old young man.

Up late, interlude

Live from Chattanooga, TN, it’s “Up Late with Tiger-do!” Featuring everyone’s favorite spoiled, obnoxious house cat who thinks he’s a night owl, Tiger-do-kitty!

–the writer for the show was fired a day later, as it turns out Tiger-do peed on his shoes an hour before the show went on air.

Air date June 6, 2009, Orange Kirkland Studio Productions Inc.

Witha Fishes, interlude

…You did a great job. I mean, would you look at that. It’s beautiful. …But it isn’t the outward appearance I’m talking about. For the sake of this instance, beauty really is on the inside….

–Recorded speech from crime boss Bill “The Confection” Tetrazzini, in response to success in hiding colored coconut candy filling inside chocolate candy coating. Ca